I know I already posted this week, but I figured I should reflect upon the past year. This is sort of a personal post, and I apologize for bleeding my heartguts on this page to you all. Still, bear with me, okay?
Everyone is saying that 2013 has kind of sucked, but honestly? I think this has been one of the best years that I've had in a long time.
I started my year, unsure of where I was going after high school. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted out – out of the town I'd called home for so long that didn't feel like home and out of the situations that I'd been stuck in the middle of because I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was done trying to make those problems my own when I had so many opportunities to make my own life.
I had done a lot of trying to figure myself out, and I had made some great friends during my time in my hometown, but I still felt like something was missing. I felt… empty. I felt as if even though I’d made friends, there was still something inside of me that said, “You’re alone, Sara. Nobody really knows what’s going on. You’re alone, and you’re always going to be if you don’t get out of here.”
So I did. After I graduated and spent what was probably the most terrible summer of my life doing nothing but crying, fighting, and attempting to escape my troubles in ways that I now regret, I left and didn't look back.
Four months later, I can safely say that I've never been happier in my life. Sure, I lost a lot (in terms of both friendships and material possessions), but I've gained so much more that it makes up for it.
I've figured out who my true friends back home are. I can only count all of them on one hand. It’s definitely not a bad thing; I was actually expecting to not have any at all. I've realized that after seeing these people over various holidays that they have helped shape me into who I am today. I'm eternally grateful that they've been here for me and still continue to be here for me, even though i’m busy with another life away from them.
I went to college. That in itself is such a huge feat, since I’m the first person in my immediate family to go to college for more than one semester. I had to work hard for the money that went towards my education (and take out a couple of loans), but it was so worth it.
I’ve been able to do so much soul-searching in my time in school. I thought I knew myself upon leaving home, but I was wrong. Coming to Belhaven and doing what I thought was the last thing I wanted to do – that is, converting to Christianity – has helped me become a much better person. When I arrived home, the habits and people that enabled me to indulge in them didn't feel right anymore. My old life didn't feel right because I'd grown, and it's hard to fit large things in small packages.
I've made so many new friends. I’m baffled because I've never been able to say that I am part of a large group of friends before. I've built relationships with people so different from each other, and we've created such a beautiful bond in such a short time. We’re all a bunch of nerds on the surface, but underneath every one of these people lies a heart that beats for Christ and knows deep down how to be a great person and friend. We've shared so much with each other and helped each other in rough times already, and it's only been a few months. There’s still a lot that nobody knows about me yet, and I’m sure they’ll learn eventually. I know in my heart, though, that they won’t judge me for my past – only make sure that my future with them is better.
All in all, I've lost and gained so much in 2013, and I've become a new person. I hope that 2014 lets me put this character development to good use because I really feel that next year’s going to be great… Especially if I have my friends by my side. It’s a shame that we’re not going to be together until Sunday, but i’m sure all of us are thinking this same thing.
Thank you, 2013. Thank you for being a great year – for making me feel alive instead of like i’m merely existing. It’s been wonderful, but it’s time to say,
“... Goodbye.”
December 31, 2013
December 28, 2013
Universe
Hello, blogosphere! I apologize for updating much later than I normally do. I was struggling to come up with a decent topic until late last night (or this morning, depending), but by then, I was much too tired to even consider blogging.
I suppose, before I begin, the obligatory Christmas update is necessary. I had a pretty decent time myself – I had dinner with some of my extended family and survived the barrage of questions about my time in college thus far. After returning home for a nap, I spent the entire evening with a cup or two of eggnog and all of the cartoon holiday specials I could find online.
I will say that this Christmas had a different significance to me than the past few have. It wasn't just because I actually had the chance to go out and celebrate, either. My "new heart", so to speak, provided for me a new meaning to the holiday. I'd always acknowledged that Christians celebrated the birth of Jesus, but this year was probably the first that I'd truly come to celebrate as well.
In short, I was really content this Christmas. But now that the holiday is over, it's time to put the tinsel and ribbons away and get started on this post!
---
I mentioned something about cartoons before. Yes, even as an eighteen-year-old college freshman, I will admit that I enjoy cartoons.
Sadly, the overall quality of cartoons has greatly diminished since the days of my childhood. Lazy writing and animation that crews use because they assume children won't know the difference, fast-paced scenes that can be a little hard to follow at times, and and blatantly stupid humor for the sake of trying to be "LOL SO RANDOM" are all abundant in the worst way.
Yet every so often, there comes a new cartoon that breaks this mold and appeals to not only children but people outside of the demographic (such as myself) as well. I may or may not have binge-watched this series yesterday, so I felt my need to share with all of you!
 |
| Steven Universe, pre-redesign |
Steven Universe is a Cartoon Network series created by former Adventure Time storyboard artist/writer/composer Rebecca Sugar.
Now, almost everyone saw Adventure Time as a typical kids' show at first glance – I mean, who would assume anything more when the plot's focus is on a boy and his magical dog? However, as the plot and characters developed, older viewers began to notice that there was much more to the show than Finn and Jake's antics in the Land of Ooo. I won't spoil it for anyone, so in order to figure out what I mean, you're going to have to watch for yourself. ;)
With Sugar taking the position of head honcho, I have no doubt that Steven Universe will no doubt do the same. Sadly, with only seven eleven-minute episodes released since the premiere in early November, only time will tell whether the prediction will come true.
 |
| Steven Universe, post-redesign |
The plot involves the protection of the world by four intergalactic warriors collectively known as the Crystal Gems: Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven.
The origin of the group's name derives from the special gemstones embedded in every member's body. These gems give special abilities such as the summoning of a weapon and shapeshifting, among other, more specialized powers.
The Gems have taken on the roles of older siblings, mentors, and maternal figures to Steven while he learns how to use his powers and live together in a combination house and magical crystal temple in Beach City.
The show's eponymous character is the youngest and only male member of the Crystal Gems on Earth. He was born to Greg Universe and Rose Quartz, a former member of the Gems who gave up her physical form to give birth to Steven. She passed on her gemstone, a rose quartz, to Steven, thus giving him the powers of a Gem. This gem is embedded in his belly button and summons a shield (although he has yet to figure out how to summon it at will).
He is a happy-go-lucky boy, eager to prove his worth as a Crystal Gem. He has yet to master any magical abilities, and the ones he has learned have thus far landed him in sticky situations. Like many children, he tries to solve problems that he comes across himself before seeking help, but makes up for his trouble-making by remaining optimistic and confident in himself.
The biggest mystery that surrounds Steven lies in his means of summoning his magical powers. In 1x01, "Cookie Cat", he believes that eating his favorite ice cream is the answer, although he is soon proven wrong. In 1x07, "Bubble Buddies", however, he inadvertently summons a crystal bubble when saving his friend/love interest, Connie from being crushed by a falling rock. Fans speculate that love, or maybe any strong positive emotion, is the key.
Garnet is the unofficial leader of the Crystal Gems. Her gems are garnets that are embedded in the palms of her hands. She uses them to summon a pair of gauntlets that she wears more often than not. She also has psychokinetic abilities and can sense the structural integrity of structures just by looking at them.
She is a strong, stoic woman that Steven looks up to as a mentor. She seems to have much more faith in Steven's ideas than the other Gems do, and she protects him from Pearl and Amethyst's constant bickering.
It should also be noted that because of her position, the other Gems don't treat her as they do each other. Pearl isn't as condescending to Garnet as she is to others, and Amethyst doesn't mind taking orders from Garnet as she does from anyone else.
Amethyst is considered the comic relief of the Crystal Gems. Her gem is an amethyst embedded in her chest that she uses to summon an energy whip.
She is the loudest and most care-free of the Gems. She doesn't have very good manners and prefers to be messy, making her the least likely to be a good role model to Steven. However, she does tend to partake in different activities with him more and enjoys roughhousing with him.
She's also very indulgent – she doesn't have to eat or sleep, yet she does just because she likes to.
Pearl is the mental powerhouse of the Crystal Gems whose gem is a pearl embedded in her forehead. She uses it to summon a a magic spear and can conjure holographic images with it, and she is seen to collect swords as well.
She is quite graceful, controlled, and a perfectionist. She puts an extensive amount of thought and reason into her plans, which results in her getting flustered when her plans don't go perfectly. She can also be condescending at times when she thinks her plans are better than someone else's (usually Amethyst's).
She is the most motherly of the Gems, making sure that Steven doesn't get into any trouble and is deeply concerned for his safety.
The best thing about this show to me is that it has broken so many molds that its predecessors have created. Steven Universe is the first Cartoon Network series that features a female as its main creator. Animation has been a sexually-segregated industry for so long, and aside from a few exceptions in the past (although they're far and few between), men have dominated this particular realm of entertainment... But luckily, things are changing for the better, by the look of it!
Speaking of gender norms, Cartoon Network probably raised a few eyebrows when this show premiered because it has been notorious for its desire to lure boys to the network with a plethora of superhero and science-fiction shows. However, it seems that this show has broken down the barrier between masculine and feminine. There are plenty of monsters and action scenes to appeal to the boys, but the emotional notes that strike the viewers so delicately in scenes such as Steven's bonding with his single father appeal to the girls as well. All of this is wrapped up in an aesthetically-pleasing environment that is reminiscent of a vintage video game and tied with a bow of whimsical fun.
In addition, the characters themselves are very diverse in terms of appearance. All three of the Crystal Gems have distinct character designs with different body types, skin colors, and facial features. The representation of female characters that aren't thin, white, and conventionally attractive here is slowly becoming more common in media today, and it's nice to see that children of this generation are going to be able to see that it's okay to be different – that you can still kick serious butt if you don't look like everyone else!
I can't say I have any complaints about the show as of right now, but when it continues its run in January, I'll be more than happy to discuss them. Until next year! ... Literally, since it actually will be 2014 next week. Whoa.
- Sara
December 21, 2013
Salvation
I'm probably going to regret beginning this post at 3:30 in the morning, but for some inexplicable reason, I have no desire to sleep and the itch to tell a story. I apologize in advance for any oddities due to the witching hour's effects on my thought process, but as Ernest Hemingway once said, "Write drunk; edit sober."
... I think that could apply, even though I'm merely sleep-deprived.
Anyway.
If you've been keeping track of my posts, you'll know that I've been going through this spiritual transformation of sorts. I arrived at Belhaven with a firm belief in agnosticism (which, now that I think about it, seems oxymoronic because agnosticism stems from uncertainty). However, after taking the chance to start learning about just what Christianity is about and with the help of some great people, I was pushed to precariously balance on the edge of and fall from the metaphorical cliff of independence.
In less flowery words, I was saved.
I almost refrained from posting about this, knowing that it's an incredibly personal topic. However, I felt as if I was close to bursting last week, when it was still fresh in my mind... So I thought it was worthy of sharing with whoever happens to be reading this.
I was troubled with this question of how to trust in Him when it seemed as if I was doing relatively well already. Not only that, but I wasn't quite sure how to admit that I was afraid of not being completely in control of myself. In words that weren't nearly as eloquent, I gathered the courage to reach out for help from Josh.
Struggling to put my thoughts into spoken words is difficult, but doing so with written words is much harder when you're not even sure what to say. I had been struggling with asking questions when I suddenly got a call, and Josh and I ended up discussing this over Skype for over an hour. I wish I could say I wasn't scared to answer some of the questions I was asked without lying, and there were points in the conversation where I was thinking, 'Just what am I doing? Is this really what's right?'
Still, being able to have some questions that I've never asked anyone before answered and to answer questions that nobody had tried to ask me before was one of the most... surreal experiences. I felt so vulnerable, telling all of this to this boy I've only known for a few months, but for some reason, it felt like that short span of time didn't matter. I hadn't even realized that I was beginning to cry until after Josh had told me the story of the Gospel and explained just what being a Christian entailed, and he asked me, "Do you still want to be a part of all of this?"
Of all of the struggles and hardships in searching for oneself and glorifying Him in all that I can do? Of not being sure all of the time and having to reach out for help, just as I had that night? Of giving myself up to God and knowing that I don't control my life anymore? I had to pause for a long moment to think: 'Do I really want this?'
My heart had said yes long ago - otherwise, I don't think I'd have chosen to even come to Belhaven (even if it did have a phenomenal English department) if I weren't open to God's word. Still, something in my head had stalled me - almost as if someone were holding a switch in there between on and off, trying to keep whatever that switch controlled off. And yet, there was a still stronger force than my mind calling to me, beckoning me to His glory, wrapping me in His love. I'd never felt so full of warmth when I prayed with Josh that evening to become one of His daughters - when I said, "Yes."
Of course, I still have a lot to learn. When does anyone not? It's a journey that never ends until the day one leaves this earth - one that I hope to enjoy wholeheartedly from now on with Christ in my heart and all around me.
"Welcome to the family."
- Sara
... I think that could apply, even though I'm merely sleep-deprived.
Anyway.
If you've been keeping track of my posts, you'll know that I've been going through this spiritual transformation of sorts. I arrived at Belhaven with a firm belief in agnosticism (which, now that I think about it, seems oxymoronic because agnosticism stems from uncertainty). However, after taking the chance to start learning about just what Christianity is about and with the help of some great people, I was pushed to precariously balance on the edge of and fall from the metaphorical cliff of independence.
In less flowery words, I was saved.
I almost refrained from posting about this, knowing that it's an incredibly personal topic. However, I felt as if I was close to bursting last week, when it was still fresh in my mind... So I thought it was worthy of sharing with whoever happens to be reading this.
I was troubled with this question of how to trust in Him when it seemed as if I was doing relatively well already. Not only that, but I wasn't quite sure how to admit that I was afraid of not being completely in control of myself. In words that weren't nearly as eloquent, I gathered the courage to reach out for help from Josh.
Struggling to put my thoughts into spoken words is difficult, but doing so with written words is much harder when you're not even sure what to say. I had been struggling with asking questions when I suddenly got a call, and Josh and I ended up discussing this over Skype for over an hour. I wish I could say I wasn't scared to answer some of the questions I was asked without lying, and there were points in the conversation where I was thinking, 'Just what am I doing? Is this really what's right?'
Still, being able to have some questions that I've never asked anyone before answered and to answer questions that nobody had tried to ask me before was one of the most... surreal experiences. I felt so vulnerable, telling all of this to this boy I've only known for a few months, but for some reason, it felt like that short span of time didn't matter. I hadn't even realized that I was beginning to cry until after Josh had told me the story of the Gospel and explained just what being a Christian entailed, and he asked me, "Do you still want to be a part of all of this?"
Of all of the struggles and hardships in searching for oneself and glorifying Him in all that I can do? Of not being sure all of the time and having to reach out for help, just as I had that night? Of giving myself up to God and knowing that I don't control my life anymore? I had to pause for a long moment to think: 'Do I really want this?'
My heart had said yes long ago - otherwise, I don't think I'd have chosen to even come to Belhaven (even if it did have a phenomenal English department) if I weren't open to God's word. Still, something in my head had stalled me - almost as if someone were holding a switch in there between on and off, trying to keep whatever that switch controlled off. And yet, there was a still stronger force than my mind calling to me, beckoning me to His glory, wrapping me in His love. I'd never felt so full of warmth when I prayed with Josh that evening to become one of His daughters - when I said, "Yes."
Of course, I still have a lot to learn. When does anyone not? It's a journey that never ends until the day one leaves this earth - one that I hope to enjoy wholeheartedly from now on with Christ in my heart and all around me.
"Welcome to the family."
- Sara
December 14, 2013
Typology
I was fully ready to post this days ago because I had so much time on my hands to actually sit down, research, and write. However, something so indescribable happened earlier today that I crave to write about. I almost considered saving this post for later, but I figured that since I'd put so much effort into it, I may as well put it up today.
I promise you, there will come a time when I'll write about this amazing experience of mine. I just don't think now is the right time, when I can barely make sense of it all. Soon, though. Soon...
---
Over the past couple of months, I have taken quite an interest in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment. I first learned about this test in a general psychology class I took my junior year, and I was fascinated from the start. I adored the fact that after answering a few yes/no questions, people could be categorized and compared to one another with ease.
If you haven't heard of this before, look no further!
The MBTI test was designed to measure people's preferences in how they make decisions and perceive the world, and it categorizes people into sixteen types. These types are made up of various combinations of these dichotomies:
My friends and I have discussed the credibility of MBTI a few times, and it's always interesting to hear how the world is shaped in other's perspectives... or should I say worldviews?
I promise you, there will come a time when I'll write about this amazing experience of mine. I just don't think now is the right time, when I can barely make sense of it all. Soon, though. Soon...
---
Over the past couple of months, I have taken quite an interest in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment. I first learned about this test in a general psychology class I took my junior year, and I was fascinated from the start. I adored the fact that after answering a few yes/no questions, people could be categorized and compared to one another with ease.
If you haven't heard of this before, look no further!
The MBTI test was designed to measure people's preferences in how they make decisions and perceive the world, and it categorizes people into sixteen types. These types are made up of various combinations of these dichotomies:
- extraversion* vs. introversion (one's attitude towards the world)
- sensing vs. intuition (how one takes in information)
- thinking vs. feeling (how one makes decisions)
- judging vs. perceiving (one's openness to structure)
My friends and I have discussed the credibility of MBTI a few times, and it's always interesting to hear how the world is shaped in other's perspectives... or should I say worldviews?
*is shot for using Belhaven terminology and then revived using the magic of the internet*
WARNING: I apologize for the excessive use of one particular type as an example from here on. I hope you are able to take something out of this post, despite the blithering on about INFPs.
WARNING: I apologize for the excessive use of one particular type as an example from here on. I hope you are able to take something out of this post, despite the blithering on about INFPs.
I've also started comparing the types of my friends more often, too.
For example, I asked Michael how he managed to study so well during finals week. He mentioned something about being able to compartmentalize so much material with such ease because he needs structure to live. I was confused until I remembered moments later that he's an INTJ - the analyzer of the MBTI. I'd always wished I could be an INTJ when I was younger because they're so great at putting things together/taking good notes and studying well with no qualms and I just... wasn't.
He also mentioned how odd it was for me to be able to take the world in stride and be content while knowing there was so much to be done. I explained to him that my work ethic either focuses on putting so much effort into something until it's perfect or literally forcing myself to do something because I don't find it important enough to do until the last minute. It's only natural for an INFP like me because deadlines are relative to importance (to me, anyway). Needless to say, he looked more than a little concerned at the thought.
Another thing that I've noticed is that it's impossible to use this test as a guide to one's personality because this merely measures one's cognitive functions. Even people with the same type as you can act so different from you that you wonder how in the world that person is the same type!
Christian is actually an INFP as well, believe it or not. Most people tend to get very confused when I mention this because she's much more outspoken than I am. However, they tend to use the term "introversion" in the context that is both more common and incorrect in today's world. Introversion is present when one draws their energy from him/herself rather than from others. People mistake introversion for shyness just because they just so happen to come together more often than not. One can be sociable and open for conversation, but he or she may not be able to handle it for extended periods of time without feeling drained.
A little-known fact that I've come across is that some people take subtypes into consideration. These subtypes (24 in each type) are created using the order of traits that one receives as a result from highest to lowest. It's odd to think that a simple rearrangement of the letters can affect people so much. For example, I am an IPNF (one of the most stable INFP subtypes) because I scored highest on introversion, then perceiving, so on and so forth. This may also explain why Christian is so different from me as well - her traits may just be ranked differently.
A little-known fact that I've come across is that some people take subtypes into consideration. These subtypes (24 in each type) are created using the order of traits that one receives as a result from highest to lowest. It's odd to think that a simple rearrangement of the letters can affect people so much. For example, I am an IPNF (one of the most stable INFP subtypes) because I scored highest on introversion, then perceiving, so on and so forth. This may also explain why Christian is so different from me as well - her traits may just be ranked differently.
Lastly, it's odd to think that one person could be one type at a certain point in his or her life, yet they grow into another type later in life! I believe I used to be an INTP when I was younger. I hadn't taken the test, but I do remember having a significant preference for using reason rather than my emotions when making a decision. I'm not sure when or how that changed over the course of my life, but here I am... wishing that I could return to being a thinker and being able to think things through a little better before I act. *sigh*
Since I'm only beginning to research this stuff, I really can't give an in-depth blog post about all of the types and functions and how they work. But hey, maybe I piqued someone's interest enough to do some research of their own. If you're really into this sort of thing, there are plenty of people roaming the internet and sharing their knowledge of this silly little test.
P.S.: For any fellow INFPs that stumble upon this post, you may enjoy this list of traits that I found:
creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic
P.P.S. If you want to look into subtypes, there are plenty of pages floating around on the interwebs that will satiate your curiosity. I know this blog post in particular discusses the subtypes of the INFP.
Happy typing, everyone!
- Sara
Happy typing, everyone!
- Sara
* Keep in mind that MBTI uses extraversion instead of the more common extroversion. I never understood why until recently, and I thought you guys might like to know the reason!
The prefix "extra-" (when used to mean "out of/outward/outside") is actually more correct than"extro-", in terms of Latin etymology. However, since "extro-" looks nicer to the eye and mirrors "intro-" better, a lot of people tend to use it more often.
December 7, 2013
Relief
December 27, 2013 marks a monumental milestone of my life... I have finally completed my first semester of freshman year of college!!
*throws confetti for a week straight*
The upcoming break feels so much more rewarding after this week. I don't think I have ever been so exhausted in my life, and that's saying something because I've once stayed awake for over forty hours.
It wasn't too bad at first, when I was watching my friends cram for their exams while I studied at my own pace. I didn't have anything to really do until Friday, so the urgency of how important these exams could be didn't kick in until the night before, when I stayed up in the student center with Michael and Nicole (a sophomore art major with shoulder-length brown hair and a big heart) until 1:30 the next morning... meaning that I had 7 hours until my exam.
I had gotten a lot done, but I still felt as if I needed to continue studying, so I typed up some notes that I had taken from a study group earlier and sent them to my friend James, as he asked me to. By the time I finally shut down my computer, it was 3:10 AM, and I woke up a mere three hours and forty minutes later.
Six hours and two finals later on Friday, I thought I was finished with everything until I realized that I still had a paper to write that was due at 8:30 on Saturday morning. Because I have this absolute inability to write papers in a short amount of time, I literally worked all night until it was finished... four hours before it was due.
This is where it starts getting a little crazy, folks.
I had to seriously consider whether or not I was going to make another pot of coffee and chug it down as if my life depended on it so I could survive the morning. In the end, Christian (who had been keeping me company while working on her paper) convinced me to sleep for a couple of hours because I was already running on so little.
Those couple of hours somehow turned into four or five hours, and I woke up to Krista telling me that it was almost 10:00. I don't think I've ever bolted out of bed so quickly or sworn so much in one breath before, honestly. I managed to get to my professor's house (where he was holding the final) in a mere thirty minutes to turn my assignments in, but I still wish I would have thought doing what I did through a little better.
SO the moral of the story is:
It wasn't too bad at first, when I was watching my friends cram for their exams while I studied at my own pace. I didn't have anything to really do until Friday, so the urgency of how important these exams could be didn't kick in until the night before, when I stayed up in the student center with Michael and Nicole (a sophomore art major with shoulder-length brown hair and a big heart) until 1:30 the next morning... meaning that I had 7 hours until my exam.
I had gotten a lot done, but I still felt as if I needed to continue studying, so I typed up some notes that I had taken from a study group earlier and sent them to my friend James, as he asked me to. By the time I finally shut down my computer, it was 3:10 AM, and I woke up a mere three hours and forty minutes later.
Six hours and two finals later on Friday, I thought I was finished with everything until I realized that I still had a paper to write that was due at 8:30 on Saturday morning. Because I have this absolute inability to write papers in a short amount of time, I literally worked all night until it was finished... four hours before it was due.
This is where it starts getting a little crazy, folks.
I had to seriously consider whether or not I was going to make another pot of coffee and chug it down as if my life depended on it so I could survive the morning. In the end, Christian (who had been keeping me company while working on her paper) convinced me to sleep for a couple of hours because I was already running on so little.
Those couple of hours somehow turned into four or five hours, and I woke up to Krista telling me that it was almost 10:00. I don't think I've ever bolted out of bed so quickly or sworn so much in one breath before, honestly. I managed to get to my professor's house (where he was holding the final) in a mere thirty minutes to turn my assignments in, but I still wish I would have thought doing what I did through a little better.
SO the moral of the story is:
- Do not leave papers unfinished until the night before they're due because all-nighters are inevitable and will exhaust you the next day.
- Do not leave papers unfinished until finals week is over because you're going to be exhausted and probably will turn in a pile of word vomit.
- JUST DO YOUR PAPERS ON TIME, AND YOU'LL BE OKAY.
Now that the semester is finally over, though, I can't help but look back and feel content. Sure, I've done some stupid things, but I've also done some really cool things, and isn't that how life is supposed to work? I've managed to learn the basics of both life at Belhaven and in college in general, and I while I know that there's so much more to learn, just knowing that I've finally built the foundation of the next four years of my life is so exciting and fulfilling to me.
And the best thing about it is that I won't be going through this learning process alone.
I'm not sure if this sudden fit of emotional overload is due to exhaustion or sincere fondness or a combination of the two. However, I do know that I have made many wonderful friends in such a short time, and it still amazes me that I've managed to find so many people that I consider my family at Belhaven. We may act stupid, geek out over silly things, and have too many inside jokes to count, but there are times that I realize that there is more to our friendship than that.
I'm able to talk to these people in ways that I don't think I've really ever been able to in the past, and it's just beautiful. I'm looking forward to the spring semester with all of my heart because I'm going to be able to spend it with all of these wonderful people. It's going to suck, not sitting at our normal table in the cafeteria and watching all of them buzz with excitement just from being in each other's presence, but the Internet will satiate our need to communicate for this long month. Just... I thank God every day for blessing me with the opportunity to meet so many great people and become so close to them. I pray with all of my heart that He wants us to stay friends beyond these next few years. I feel that if we are meant to stay in each other's lives, then He has already interwoven our paths so we can stay connected.
All I can do is hope, though. Hope and enjoy the time that I have with them now. After all, it's only been one semester.
I'm able to talk to these people in ways that I don't think I've really ever been able to in the past, and it's just beautiful. I'm looking forward to the spring semester with all of my heart because I'm going to be able to spend it with all of these wonderful people. It's going to suck, not sitting at our normal table in the cafeteria and watching all of them buzz with excitement just from being in each other's presence, but the Internet will satiate our need to communicate for this long month. Just... I thank God every day for blessing me with the opportunity to meet so many great people and become so close to them. I pray with all of my heart that He wants us to stay friends beyond these next few years. I feel that if we are meant to stay in each other's lives, then He has already interwoven our paths so we can stay connected.
All I can do is hope, though. Hope and enjoy the time that I have with them now. After all, it's only been one semester.
- Sara
November 30, 2013
Celebration
I did say I was going to start posting weekly, and I'm here to fulfill my promise! Of course, I'm going to be writing this post over the course of a couple of days (11/28-29) because I've actually got so much going on this weekend.
You see, I returned to the Gulf Coast on Tuesday to celebrate Thanksgiving break with my second family (aka my best friend, Logan, and her family). I'm practically buzzing with excitement at the thought of spending time with these people when I haven't seen them in three or four months. They're such wonderful people, and knowing that they readily accept me into their home on such an occasion makes my heart swell three times its size.
The reason why I'm here and not with my actual family involves a long story full of sighs and woe, but I'm not going to elaborate on that because it's time to celebrate!
---
11/28/2013
The hustle and bustle of Logan's family preparing for a huge Thanksgiving dinner is something I've never really experienced before. My family isn't that big, nor is it very close, so this is a difference I'm more than willing to accept. There's something about watching a family come together, despite the dysfunction of its members, and function together and create such a loving environment. Even just hearing snippets of excited conversation and getting a whiff of all the food people bring in to share while I write makes me think, Wow. This is what Thanksgiving is supposed to be.
This is just... amazing. I don't even care about the obnoxious Christmas music floating through the house (when honestly, November's not even over yet, what even). This is what a proper holiday celebration is, and I absolutely love it. Can I do this every year, please?
And about six hours later, I don't think I've felt so full in such a long time. Thank you, Belhaven, you useless source of sustenance. I'm reveling in this comatose state that has settled upon the entire house, post-gorging. I could definitely get behind having this become a normal thing that happens.
---
11/29/2013
Excuse the sudden change in tense, but I'm doing the normal recounting of events instead of writing while the events happen. It just seems easier to me. Ahem.
Today was another day worth celebrating. I mean, I turned eighteen years old; how awesome is that? It feels odd, being able to say that I'm (in legal terms) an adult. However, I still feel like I'mthe dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen. I know the understanding that I just turned a year older won't kick in for a while, but maybe it's this milestone that I've reached that's getting me. I can easily do so much more than I could just yesterday: buy tobacco products, vote, get a real job besides working fast food restaurants, the works.
Not only that, but I am no longer legally bound to my mother. Well, somewhat, because Mississippi has weird emancipation laws that say you have to be 21 before you're completely on your own, but that's beside the point. The point is that I am no longer required by law to obey her every command. It's liberating because, although I've never had much problem with listening to her before, I simply have the choice not to. Independence is what I've been striving for all this time, and just knowing that I'm on my own when it comes to most of my decision-making is both thrilling and terrifying.
Oh, and if you're wondering if anything amazing happened in the world outside of my own head, you're in luck. I had Olive Garden for the first time today. Now THAT is worth celebrating. I seriously don't get why I haven't been there before? This is a sad life I have been living - one that I can't be sure if I really want to accept. All I know is that I just wanted all of that delicious food (especially the shrimp ravioli) and uuuuuuughhhh -- *curls into a ball of sadness on the floor*
Aside from that... As a whole, my birthday was a pretty uneventful, yet amazing one because I was surrounded by people that love me and actually wanted to make sure that today was a great day for my sake. Knowing that just warms my heart because not many people go out of their way for others like that. It still amazes me, that people still do that in this world filled with selfishness and cruelty.
---
Now that the celebrating is over, and I have to return to Belhaven tomorrow for finals, I will say that this has been a satisfying Thanksgiving break. After a lot of thought, I'm not exactly sure if my Christmas break will be as great, but I think that as long as I am able to surround myself with the right people, I will be okay.
- Sara
You see, I returned to the Gulf Coast on Tuesday to celebrate Thanksgiving break with my second family (aka my best friend, Logan, and her family). I'm practically buzzing with excitement at the thought of spending time with these people when I haven't seen them in three or four months. They're such wonderful people, and knowing that they readily accept me into their home on such an occasion makes my heart swell three times its size.
The reason why I'm here and not with my actual family involves a long story full of sighs and woe, but I'm not going to elaborate on that because it's time to celebrate!
---
11/28/2013
The hustle and bustle of Logan's family preparing for a huge Thanksgiving dinner is something I've never really experienced before. My family isn't that big, nor is it very close, so this is a difference I'm more than willing to accept. There's something about watching a family come together, despite the dysfunction of its members, and function together and create such a loving environment. Even just hearing snippets of excited conversation and getting a whiff of all the food people bring in to share while I write makes me think, Wow. This is what Thanksgiving is supposed to be.
This is just... amazing. I don't even care about the obnoxious Christmas music floating through the house (when honestly, November's not even over yet, what even). This is what a proper holiday celebration is, and I absolutely love it. Can I do this every year, please?
And about six hours later, I don't think I've felt so full in such a long time. Thank you, Belhaven, you useless source of sustenance. I'm reveling in this comatose state that has settled upon the entire house, post-gorging. I could definitely get behind having this become a normal thing that happens.
---
11/29/2013
Excuse the sudden change in tense, but I'm doing the normal recounting of events instead of writing while the events happen. It just seems easier to me. Ahem.
Today was another day worth celebrating. I mean, I turned eighteen years old; how awesome is that? It feels odd, being able to say that I'm (in legal terms) an adult. However, I still feel like I'm
Not only that, but I am no longer legally bound to my mother. Well, somewhat, because Mississippi has weird emancipation laws that say you have to be 21 before you're completely on your own, but that's beside the point. The point is that I am no longer required by law to obey her every command. It's liberating because, although I've never had much problem with listening to her before, I simply have the choice not to. Independence is what I've been striving for all this time, and just knowing that I'm on my own when it comes to most of my decision-making is both thrilling and terrifying.
Oh, and if you're wondering if anything amazing happened in the world outside of my own head, you're in luck. I had Olive Garden for the first time today. Now THAT is worth celebrating. I seriously don't get why I haven't been there before? This is a sad life I have been living - one that I can't be sure if I really want to accept. All I know is that I just wanted all of that delicious food (especially the shrimp ravioli) and uuuuuuughhhh -- *curls into a ball of sadness on the floor*
Aside from that... As a whole, my birthday was a pretty uneventful, yet amazing one because I was surrounded by people that love me and actually wanted to make sure that today was a great day for my sake. Knowing that just warms my heart because not many people go out of their way for others like that. It still amazes me, that people still do that in this world filled with selfishness and cruelty.
---
Now that the celebrating is over, and I have to return to Belhaven tomorrow for finals, I will say that this has been a satisfying Thanksgiving break. After a lot of thought, I'm not exactly sure if my Christmas break will be as great, but I think that as long as I am able to surround myself with the right people, I will be okay.
- Sara
November 22, 2013
Exhaustion
Wow, this is the third time that I haven't posted in over a week... I need to stop this. Ideas are always buzzing around in my head like little bumblebees, but I never remember to expand upon these ideas in posts until days later.
I think it's high time I stick with a schedule.
So... From now on, you can expect posts every Saturday. I feel as if I can stick to the schedule this time, especially since I don't do very much on Saturdays. You guys have all rights to virtually chastise me for not posting if I happen to forget that hey, it's that time of the week.
---
One would think that because I haven't posted in a couple of weeks that I would have plenty of amazing things to share. Sadly, the opposite is true, unless you find the thought of me ripping my hair out at the thought of all of my assignments riveting. I had always heard that college was so much easier than high school because students have so much more independence in regards their studies.
However, I'm slowly learning that in all actuality, a college freshman - especially one that comes from a public school - must learn that the professors are not going to remind him or her to stick to a schedule and should keep track of when assignments are due *gasp* by themselves. It's no wonder my to-do list is haunting my nightmares.
And I suppose that I should mention my reason for not getting this post up last week. Honestly, I had all sorts of opportunities over the course of the week, and I really wanted to share something with you! Let's just say that it's impossible to blog when you constantly feel as if you're ready to curl into a ball in your room and die.
Last Friday, I fell victim to a nasty cold that seemed to have been spreading like wildfire across campus. I'm still not sure if it was because the weather in Mississippi is so inconsistent, and my body couldn't keep up... Or if it was because my immune systems sucks so much that simply eating from the same can of Pringles as Josh (who had been getting over a cold at the time) was deemed an opportunity for disease to rear its ugly head.
Either way, the weekend was a blur of countless hours of sleep, pounding headaches, fuzzy vision, and what seemed to be an endless search for medicinal relief. Luckily, between Triston (a psychology major with dyed black hair and an odd infatuation with Miley Cyrus) and Karis, I was stocked with enough medicine for weeks. I can't tell you how many cough drops I sucked on or how many cups of orange juice I drank in an attempt to rush myself back to health.
I'm still in shock about the fact that they gave me so much out of the kindness of their hearts. I've... never had that happen before. I'm not sure if it's because nobody wants to be sick away from home and can't be taken care of or merely because people just have kind enough hearts to help someone in need.
It feels nice, though.
I'm happy to be able to say that I have great friends that are more than willing to help in a time of need. It's just another reason why I enjoy being a student at Belhaven, I suppose.
---
To make up for the lack of interesting posts, I am working on a couple of ideas that I hope to be able to show you in the next couple of weeks. Please bear with the overwhelmed college student as she treads a sea of papers and finals before the sweet relief of the holidays.
- Sara
UPDATE (11/27/2013): I thought I was done suffering, but something out there is watching and laughing at me as it wreaks havoc on my body. I seem to have picked up a case of pink eye, although in its beginning stages, it's hard to tell. All I know is that my eye is really red and in pain. If it starts spewing gunk, I'm going to cry. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS BEFORE FINALS.
I think it's high time I stick with a schedule.
So... From now on, you can expect posts every Saturday. I feel as if I can stick to the schedule this time, especially since I don't do very much on Saturdays. You guys have all rights to virtually chastise me for not posting if I happen to forget that hey, it's that time of the week.
---
One would think that because I haven't posted in a couple of weeks that I would have plenty of amazing things to share. Sadly, the opposite is true, unless you find the thought of me ripping my hair out at the thought of all of my assignments riveting. I had always heard that college was so much easier than high school because students have so much more independence in regards their studies.
However, I'm slowly learning that in all actuality, a college freshman - especially one that comes from a public school - must learn that the professors are not going to remind him or her to stick to a schedule and should keep track of when assignments are due *gasp* by themselves. It's no wonder my to-do list is haunting my nightmares.
And I suppose that I should mention my reason for not getting this post up last week. Honestly, I had all sorts of opportunities over the course of the week, and I really wanted to share something with you! Let's just say that it's impossible to blog when you constantly feel as if you're ready to curl into a ball in your room and die.
Last Friday, I fell victim to a nasty cold that seemed to have been spreading like wildfire across campus. I'm still not sure if it was because the weather in Mississippi is so inconsistent, and my body couldn't keep up... Or if it was because my immune systems sucks so much that simply eating from the same can of Pringles as Josh (who had been getting over a cold at the time) was deemed an opportunity for disease to rear its ugly head.
Either way, the weekend was a blur of countless hours of sleep, pounding headaches, fuzzy vision, and what seemed to be an endless search for medicinal relief. Luckily, between Triston (a psychology major with dyed black hair and an odd infatuation with Miley Cyrus) and Karis, I was stocked with enough medicine for weeks. I can't tell you how many cough drops I sucked on or how many cups of orange juice I drank in an attempt to rush myself back to health.
I'm still in shock about the fact that they gave me so much out of the kindness of their hearts. I've... never had that happen before. I'm not sure if it's because nobody wants to be sick away from home and can't be taken care of or merely because people just have kind enough hearts to help someone in need.
It feels nice, though.
I'm happy to be able to say that I have great friends that are more than willing to help in a time of need. It's just another reason why I enjoy being a student at Belhaven, I suppose.
---
To make up for the lack of interesting posts, I am working on a couple of ideas that I hope to be able to show you in the next couple of weeks. Please bear with the overwhelmed college student as she treads a sea of papers and finals before the sweet relief of the holidays.
- Sara
UPDATE (11/27/2013): I thought I was done suffering, but something out there is watching and laughing at me as it wreaks havoc on my body. I seem to have picked up a case of pink eye, although in its beginning stages, it's hard to tell. All I know is that my eye is really red and in pain. If it starts spewing gunk, I'm going to cry. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS BEFORE FINALS.
November 5, 2013
Conviction
I think that tonight, I am finally going to be able to think about something that takes a bit of digging to really put into words. I don't want to become that superficial blogger that only talks about her interpersonal relationships and daily antics that she gets up to.
Tonight... I speak of my personal beliefs. *ominous crash of thunder*
Honestly, if I had created this blog a couple of years ago, I would definitely not have considered taking this route. I was utterly against discussing anything that related to spirituality and faith when I was a young and stupid teenager. Of course, I'm still a young and stupid teenager now, but I'd like to think that I'm significantly less stupid...
Still, I'm more open to discussing this sort of thing, even with whoever happens to read this blog. With that, we take a trip on my cerebral railway system (please keep all extremities in the cart at all times)...
---
When I was quite young, I considered myself a Christian. My mom attempted to raise my sister and me as Catholic because her family was, and my dad had little to no interest in going to church (for what reason, I'm still unsure). I openly accepted the Sunday school lessons, complete with "Jesus loves you" mantras, but did not think of church as much more than merely something to do on Sundays. I slept or played Pokémon on my worn Game Boy during Mass because, really, what child would want to sit down in a pew for an hour and listen to the service?
For a short time, we also attempted to go to a Baptist church in my hometown because it was closer, and while I preferred the less formal approach to how the service was held, I realized that I could never understand what was going on. At nine or ten years old, I seemed to think that the Bible just... didn't make sense to me. I began to wonder just what it was that kept me there.
As I got older and circumstances grew worse, my mom stopped forcing my sister and me to go to church, and my doubt in the word of God grew. By the time I was fourteen, I believed I was an atheist because I just didn't get church, and I didn't want to get it. I was by no means one of the smug, elitist atheists that I used to come across back home, but I refused to talk about religion because the idea of someone believing I didn't think existed... Well, it pissed me off, to put it bluntly.
Over the course of the next couple of years, I attempted to find my faith again because I was tired of having my mother tell me that I had a place reserved for me in hell (which honestly didn't make sense to me, considering that atheists don't believe in hell). I tried going back to the Baptist church I went to as a child, only to find out that something didn't sit well with me. I felt as if I didn't belong. It seemed like there was a neon sign hanging over me that flashed in large letters: "I AM AN ATHEIST. MAKE ME FEEL UNWELCOME."
I feel as if those years of my life weren't terrible, despite the lack of faith I had in any sort of God. I managed to open myself up to all sorts of learning when it came to religion and philosophy. I considered myself agnostic from the time I was sixteen or so until now because I was so receptive to others' ideas that I couldn't just... not believe in something. It seemed impossible not to. I just didn't know what it was that I believed.
Still, there was one religion I knew next to nothing about, aside from the biased points made in all of the arguments between my friends that were believers and those who were not - Christianity. The only things I did know came from my friend Shelby, a devout Roman Catholic who was more than happy to teach me a good bit of what she knew. Part of the reason I came to a Christian university was to learn more about the religion and find where I stood with God...
Honestly, if I had created this blog a couple of years ago, I would definitely not have considered taking this route. I was utterly against discussing anything that related to spirituality and faith when I was a young and stupid teenager. Of course, I'm still a young and stupid teenager now, but I'd like to think that I'm significantly less stupid...
Still, I'm more open to discussing this sort of thing, even with whoever happens to read this blog. With that, we take a trip on my cerebral railway system (please keep all extremities in the cart at all times)...
---
When I was quite young, I considered myself a Christian. My mom attempted to raise my sister and me as Catholic because her family was, and my dad had little to no interest in going to church (for what reason, I'm still unsure). I openly accepted the Sunday school lessons, complete with "Jesus loves you" mantras, but did not think of church as much more than merely something to do on Sundays. I slept or played Pokémon on my worn Game Boy during Mass because, really, what child would want to sit down in a pew for an hour and listen to the service?
For a short time, we also attempted to go to a Baptist church in my hometown because it was closer, and while I preferred the less formal approach to how the service was held, I realized that I could never understand what was going on. At nine or ten years old, I seemed to think that the Bible just... didn't make sense to me. I began to wonder just what it was that kept me there.
As I got older and circumstances grew worse, my mom stopped forcing my sister and me to go to church, and my doubt in the word of God grew. By the time I was fourteen, I believed I was an atheist because I just didn't get church, and I didn't want to get it. I was by no means one of the smug, elitist atheists that I used to come across back home, but I refused to talk about religion because the idea of someone believing I didn't think existed... Well, it pissed me off, to put it bluntly.
Over the course of the next couple of years, I attempted to find my faith again because I was tired of having my mother tell me that I had a place reserved for me in hell (which honestly didn't make sense to me, considering that atheists don't believe in hell). I tried going back to the Baptist church I went to as a child, only to find out that something didn't sit well with me. I felt as if I didn't belong. It seemed like there was a neon sign hanging over me that flashed in large letters: "I AM AN ATHEIST. MAKE ME FEEL UNWELCOME."
I feel as if those years of my life weren't terrible, despite the lack of faith I had in any sort of God. I managed to open myself up to all sorts of learning when it came to religion and philosophy. I considered myself agnostic from the time I was sixteen or so until now because I was so receptive to others' ideas that I couldn't just... not believe in something. It seemed impossible not to. I just didn't know what it was that I believed.
Still, there was one religion I knew next to nothing about, aside from the biased points made in all of the arguments between my friends that were believers and those who were not - Christianity. The only things I did know came from my friend Shelby, a devout Roman Catholic who was more than happy to teach me a good bit of what she knew. Part of the reason I came to a Christian university was to learn more about the religion and find where I stood with God...
... And today, almost three months into my first semester at Belhaven, I am able to say with utmost confidence that I feel God calling me to Him. Thanks to the teaching of His word that I've been receiving (both in school and at the church I've been going to in my time here), as well as the advice and encouragement from my friends, I have learned that I don't have to make sense of everything to know that the Lord is there for me when I fall. He has been there all of these years, even when I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that He didn't exist, and He will continue to be there for me, no matter what I do.
A side note: the church in which I've found my niche is an absolutely perfect fit for me. Fondren is a contemporary nondenominational church, which is great for someone like me - a person who needs space for ideas to roam and can't take very much of strict rules and traditions. The services are just a few songs and praise (with Scripture and all), but I honestly have never felt so at home in a church before. My heart feels as if it's close to bursting every time I step foot into the service because I'm just so happy to know that these people can come together for God's word and truly love one another.
A side note: the church in which I've found my niche is an absolutely perfect fit for me. Fondren is a contemporary nondenominational church, which is great for someone like me - a person who needs space for ideas to roam and can't take very much of strict rules and traditions. The services are just a few songs and praise (with Scripture and all), but I honestly have never felt so at home in a church before. My heart feels as if it's close to bursting every time I step foot into the service because I'm just so happy to know that these people can come together for God's word and truly love one another.
Anyway... I'm using this time as my way of thanking God for giving me all of these opportunities, as well as to say that I am so glad to have come this far in my journey to Him.
Thank you.
- Sara
Thank you.
- Sara
October 24, 2013
Fulfillment
Monday, October 21 was quite possibly the best night of my life. I would normally never say this because... honestly? I don't believe that Mondays have any capability of being anything more than bearable. However, this past Monday was definitely much more than that.
I ventured further south, into New Orleans, Louisiana to cross off the item on the top of my bucket list - to go to my first concert. Even better... I got to see my favorite band at my first concert. Who honestly has the ability to say that?
All Time Low, if you don't happen to know who they are, are a four-man pop-punk outfit from Baltimore, Maryland. They have been together for over ten years, and in those years, they have managed to gain fans from all over the globe, including me.
Before I begin my post (which, I shall warn you now, will likely include a bit of overexcited rambling), I'm going to give you some recommendations so you can listen and have some sort of understanding of who I'm talking about.
---
I ventured further south, into New Orleans, Louisiana to cross off the item on the top of my bucket list - to go to my first concert. Even better... I got to see my favorite band at my first concert. Who honestly has the ability to say that?
All Time Low, if you don't happen to know who they are, are a four-man pop-punk outfit from Baltimore, Maryland. They have been together for over ten years, and in those years, they have managed to gain fans from all over the globe, including me.
Before I begin my post (which, I shall warn you now, will likely include a bit of overexcited rambling), I'm going to give you some recommendations so you can listen and have some sort of understanding of who I'm talking about.
---
"Six Feet Under the Stars" (one of my absolute favorite songs by the band):
"The Reckless and the Brave" (the band's opening number):
"Therapy" (a slower track that is played acoustically onstage):
"Dear Maria, Count Me In" (the band's closing number):
---
My friend Kristine and I journeyed for three hours to New Orleans, the sweet symphony of electric guitars, drums, and Alex Gaskarth's voice filling our ears. When we arrived, we had to take a small walk to the venue, which was an adventure in itself because I had never seen New Orleans before that night. Streets were lined with small pubs and cafes everywhere I looked in this particular part of the Big Easy, and people of all sorts were strolling what I'd heard was dangerous territory as if it were nothing. It was both disconcerting and intriguing, to say the least.
However, actually stepping foot into the House of Blues was such the most surreal of experiences; I almost feel as if I dreamed it all. Then I feel friction blisters on my sore feet and recall the thud of the bass drum as it reached the deepest corners of my heart... And then I know that I seriously went to my first concert.
The opening act for All Time Low was another, newer pop-punk band called The Wonder Years. I hadn't much listened to their music before, despite the claims I'd heard that they were fantastic. Watching them perform was eye-opening because it was then that I realized that I should definitely give them more of a chance than I have. Their energy onstage was something I had never physically seen in people before, and it was merely because they were there, performing for us... It still warms my heart when I think about it.
There was also something that the lead singer, Dan Campbell said about "finding the fire in our hearts" when he was introducing a song called "Chasers" that really stuck with me. Passion in what one does for a living is something I've striven for practically my entire life, and seeing that people are actually able to break into the public eye through song because they have that much drive is such an inspiration to me.
Now, excuse my loss of control when I say this...
THEN ALL TIME LOW CAME ONSTAGE. OH, MY GOSH.
I have been waiting to see this band for over three years, and I can now say that it was well worth the wait. Being able to experience something like this when a band is in its prime - wen its members have had so many opportunities to experiment with their sound and broaden their musical horizons - is definitely recommended, in my opinion. From the moment the lights flashed on, and I saw the faces of the men that I've admired for years in person, I was enraptured.
Seriously, though, my heart skipped a good... five beats. It's a wonder that I'm not dead.
The set itself was filled with a delicious combination of laughing, screaming, swearing, and reveling in the sheer magic that is a concert. From the first riffs of "The Reckless and the Brave" to the echoing final notes of "Dear Maria", the energy in the large room filled with a few hundred teenagers was palpable. We moved and screamed every lyric as one being, rather than several who just happened to be in one place at the same time, and it was one of the most mystifying and incredible experiences I've had thus far.
I felt a kinship with the crowd as Alex stopped singing to hear us by ourselves... We poured every part of our souls into those songs as the band did when they were written and are now performed. We were united by the efforts of four men who started out in the cutthroat music industry with little else but a van, their dreams, and each other...
...And that is what gets me. Watching these people do what they are doing onstage and truly love every moment of what they are doing is literally the most fulfilling experience in the world to me. In that moment, I honestly lost every worry I had and gave them away to the music because the band was feeling fulfilled as they performed. It is because they are fulfilled in their music-making that I walked out of that venue sweating and breathless in the best way possible.
I want to live at a concert, or at least take an extended vacation for a while and go on tour with a band. Can this be a thing that happens after I graduate?
---
After the show, Kristine and I waited by The Wonder Years' equipment bus and ran into an ex-boyfriend of hers and his friend. The friend was quite possibly the biggest fan of The Wonder Years that I had ever met, and he seemed extremely disappointed that he hadn't managed to catch anything that the band threw into the crowd after their set.
I feel as if I did a good deed when I gave him one of the guitar picks used onstage that Kristine had snagged for me. I felt as if someone else could appreciate it more than I could, considering that I didn't very much listen to them. He sort of just looked at me for a long moment... Then he told me that he loved me and that he would buy me an entire pizza. Seriously, just for giving him a guitar pick.
Later on, after about an hour of waiting for All Time Low to come out, Kristine and I were about to leave when one of the roadies told the remains of the crowd that Rian Dawson, their drummer, was about to come out. When I actually saw him, I was... honestly, there are no words for how ecstatic I was. After he encouraged a guy who'd become a drummer because of Rian, and he was about to pass me up, I managed to squeak out in my fit of awe, "Rian! Could you please sign my phone case?"
He flashed a wide smile at me as if he were more than happy to oblige. Now that I look back on it, though, I probably should have gotten something that the ink of a Sharpie would have lasted so much longer on. Nevertheless, I now have Rian Dawson's signature on my favorite Game Boy phone case. My life is now complete, although it shall be even more complete when I meet the other three members of the band.
Whew. I apologize for the length of this post, but I feel as if there was so much to say that I couldn't just type a couple of paragraphs and call it a night. If you read all of this, I applaud you. I leave you with this note as I bid farewell to the world for the night.
- Sara
October 19, 2013
Virus
I feel as if I am reuniting with a long-lost friend as I begin this post. I know that it's only been about eight days since I last updated; still, I can't help but think that that is a few days too many.
Tonight, I take a route that I feared this blog might take at one point or another... So I suppose I may as well get it out of the way now. I honestly did not want to talk about anything of this sort, but having it shoved in my face every day for the past week or so has sort of pushed everything aside in my head.
I speak... of BELHAVEN SYNDROME.
For the non-natives of thisnuthouse learning institution, this particular illness stems from an instantaneous, intense infatuation with someone. For some, this means that a couple will become official in a matter of weeks. For others, this means that a couple will be engaged in mere months after declaring it "Facebook official". Either way, Cupid is making quite a few people stupid.
My group of friends in particular has managed to spread this disgusting disease so quickly and so easily. I'm both amazed and concerned at the same time because honestly, this goes against all of the opinions I'd formed in high school - that relationships take time and effort, and that it's easier to date after getting to know the object of your affections for quite some time.
Yet here I am, accepting the idea that crushes are sprouting like weeds in the garden that is our lovely group of friends. I am even supporting two people that hardly know each other to go into such a serious thing as a relationship.
What has this place done to me?
Perhaps it is because I happen to hear so much of the problems of the infected majority and empathize - I want them to be happy and to stop claiming that they are going to "spontaneously combust" (in the words of Karis).
It could possibly be the fact that I can relate almost too much to them. There hasn't been much improvement, in terms of my own feelings for the mysterious boy I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. All I really know is that lying in waiting for him to notice me is frustrating.
Ahem.
Either way... Belhaven Syndrome is strong this fall, and it is only growing worse. Who will find a temporary satiation for their aching hearts (as well as all the cuddles one could desire)? Who will be left with a broken heart to pick up and stitch together again?
... Only time will tell. At some other point in time (when it is not one in the morning), the intricacies of the havoc being wreaked upon so many young hearts will be revealed.
- Sara
Tonight, I take a route that I feared this blog might take at one point or another... So I suppose I may as well get it out of the way now. I honestly did not want to talk about anything of this sort, but having it shoved in my face every day for the past week or so has sort of pushed everything aside in my head.
I speak... of BELHAVEN SYNDROME.
For the non-natives of this
My group of friends in particular has managed to spread this disgusting disease so quickly and so easily. I'm both amazed and concerned at the same time because honestly, this goes against all of the opinions I'd formed in high school - that relationships take time and effort, and that it's easier to date after getting to know the object of your affections for quite some time.
Yet here I am, accepting the idea that crushes are sprouting like weeds in the garden that is our lovely group of friends. I am even supporting two people that hardly know each other to go into such a serious thing as a relationship.
What has this place done to me?
Perhaps it is because I happen to hear so much of the problems of the infected majority and empathize - I want them to be happy and to stop claiming that they are going to "spontaneously combust" (in the words of Karis).
It could possibly be the fact that I can relate almost too much to them. There hasn't been much improvement, in terms of my own feelings for the mysterious boy I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. All I really know is that lying in waiting for him to notice me is frustrating.
Ahem.
Either way... Belhaven Syndrome is strong this fall, and it is only growing worse. Who will find a temporary satiation for their aching hearts (as well as all the cuddles one could desire)? Who will be left with a broken heart to pick up and stitch together again?
... Only time will tell. At some other point in time (when it is not one in the morning), the intricacies of the havoc being wreaked upon so many young hearts will be revealed.
- Sara
October 11, 2013
Lunacy
WARNING: A long post is ahead. Unless you're extremely curious, you don't have to read this. You'll just lack a mental picture of a few of my friends when I mention them, I suppose. Whether you're truly missing out... That's up to you to decide.
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I have now been residing in one of Belhaven University's small but cozy girls' dorms for almost two months. Still, I feel as if time is slowed down here - as if I've actually been here for a year or so. The metaphorical bubble that surrounds this campus seems to be practically impenetrable as well; it's rare to actually manage to get some time off-campus in an attempt to escape from classes and homework.
-
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I have now been residing in one of Belhaven University's small but cozy girls' dorms for almost two months. Still, I feel as if time is slowed down here - as if I've actually been here for a year or so. The metaphorical bubble that surrounds this campus seems to be practically impenetrable as well; it's rare to actually manage to get some time off-campus in an attempt to escape from classes and homework.
I feel like I'm slowly going crazy, yet I am fully enjoying the process of losing my sanity. Call it a Stockholm syndrome of sorts. However, I don't think I would be enjoying my time here near as much as I am if I did not have such great people to call my friends that are fully immersed in the absurdity that is college life.
With this post, I take you, the readers, on an expository adventure in which I tell you about some of the many people I may very well find myself next to in a padded room in a short number of years...
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Where to begin? Seriously, I'm at a complete loss. There are so many of us that have come together in such a short time. I don't think anybody will very much mind me writing about them, although (again) I must be careful of what I say - I will never really know who's reading. All I know is that there are some important characters in my tales, but choosing who is more important is like choosing a favorite food - absolutely impossible.
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But since I must, I shall, and I shall begin with... Krista - a short girl with light brown, curly hair and glasses. She is an art major and a self-proclaimed introvert, but there is a lot of doubt as to whether that is true because she is easily excited by the presence of other people. I often see her giggling and running around whatever area our group tends to occupy at any point in time.
I feel a certain kinship with her, and not just because she doesn't look at me oddly, but rather joins in, when I meow at her. She is quite an open-minded person when put in serious discussions and seems to understand and empathize well - after all, we did once stay up until two in the morning, merely talking about life, faith, and all sorts of things. We are actually trying to be able to room together next semester, so who knows, maybe I'll have stories of her and my antics in the spring.
I feel a certain kinship with her, and not just because she doesn't look at me oddly, but rather joins in, when I meow at her. She is quite an open-minded person when put in serious discussions and seems to understand and empathize well - after all, we did once stay up until two in the morning, merely talking about life, faith, and all sorts of things. We are actually trying to be able to room together next semester, so who knows, maybe I'll have stories of her and my antics in the spring.
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I don't think I can talk about Krista without next doing so about her boyfriend who she's known for years before they came to Belhaven. Michael is a bright, tall and gangly creative writing major/English minor that towers over all of us. He has light brown, curly hair (which he prefers to keep somewhat short so it doesn't grow out into a Jew 'fro) and glasses. He's something of a cynic and typically uses this facet of his personality to make sarcastic remarks at any point in time. He is the perfect caricature of the "nerd"; from his obsession with Doctor Who and Joss Whedon to his extensive knowledge of Magic: The Gathering, there is practically nothing in the world of nerd culture that he hasn't been made aware of. Lastly, his fashion sense is akin to a classy gentleman's - dress shirts, ties, and fedoras are practically his uniform.
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The urge to write about Michael's roommate next for the sake of association is strong in this one, so... Josh is the only other male creative writing major in this year's freshman class. He is also a pretty tall, lanky boy with glasses (does anyone sense a pattern here?), but his hair is cut closer to his head and quite fluffy. Josh is possibly the most cynical of all the insane intellectuals with which I surround myself, and he seems to prefer entrapping himself in his own thoughts when put in group situations. He is more often than not observing the conversations we have at meals, and while some find it a little creepy, I find it a bit intriguing because he probably is coming to know us without even being told anything.
I was originally going to mention something about his ability to be brought out of his shell and how amusing it can be, but I feel as if his introversion is truly what makes him so compelling - well, in my opinion, I suppose. I feel as if getting to know him better will prove to be not only a challenge, but an enjoyment as well, because we that keep to ourselves tend to have many layers of thought to peel away to reach that soft center.
Of course, Josh isn't an ogre, by any means! I just wanted an excuse to be able to use that reference.
-
Christian and Karis are being written together because... Well, they essentially are together. Despite Christian coming from the same town as I do and having never met Karis until now, the two of them are inseparable. They are both creative writing majors, although Christian is also minoring in theatre. I feel as if they are twins - not just in terms of appearance (tall with long, wavy hair and glasses; before Karis dyed her hair red, and Christian dyed hers purple, the two used to be confused for each other a lot), but in spirit as well. They seem a bit out of sorts - incomplete, even - when one of them has yet to show up to a meal without reason.
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Erica is a short, pink-haired art major with an infatuation with oversized sweaters and Korean pop music. She, like Christian and I, comes from a public school system (we are truly the minority here, at Belhaven), and that was the start of our bond. She is the most catlike person I have ever met, as she tends to curl up on the floor, regardless of where she is, and make various noises when she is expressing her emotions. She has a level head on her shoulders except in times of extreme frustration, whether it be at her art or at other people. She has no qualms about cuddling with anyone and absolutely adores having her hair played with.
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April is a short, dirty-blonde creative writing major with a fiery spirit and a heart of gold. At first, she seems a tad off-putting (at least, to an introvert like myself) because she's quite loud. However, as I've gotten to know her, I've noticed that there's more to her than her almost-overwhelming presence. She has a gentle side to her that many others don't seem to notice. It may come from taking care of horses for so long, or it may just be that she's just another girl with a fragile heart encased in large brick walls. She likes to tease all of the freshmen she's come to know over the past couple of months, and it seems that she's genuinely upset about leaving us after she graduates next spring.
---
I would like to think that these are the people that my tales will most concern, but if anyone outside of this particular group comes up, I will be sure to tell you all about them as well. I hope I didn't bore you half to death with my incessant rambling about the people I've come to care most about at this school. Even the thought of leaving for a few days to visit my hometown in a few hours disappoints me slightly because for those days, I won't get to enjoy the presence of any of these fantastic people (besides Christian, but I can see her so much more often)...
Okay, I seriously need to sign off before this post becomes a novel. Until next time!
- Sara
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Erica is a short, pink-haired art major with an infatuation with oversized sweaters and Korean pop music. She, like Christian and I, comes from a public school system (we are truly the minority here, at Belhaven), and that was the start of our bond. She is the most catlike person I have ever met, as she tends to curl up on the floor, regardless of where she is, and make various noises when she is expressing her emotions. She has a level head on her shoulders except in times of extreme frustration, whether it be at her art or at other people. She has no qualms about cuddling with anyone and absolutely adores having her hair played with.
-
April is a short, dirty-blonde creative writing major with a fiery spirit and a heart of gold. At first, she seems a tad off-putting (at least, to an introvert like myself) because she's quite loud. However, as I've gotten to know her, I've noticed that there's more to her than her almost-overwhelming presence. She has a gentle side to her that many others don't seem to notice. It may come from taking care of horses for so long, or it may just be that she's just another girl with a fragile heart encased in large brick walls. She likes to tease all of the freshmen she's come to know over the past couple of months, and it seems that she's genuinely upset about leaving us after she graduates next spring.
---
I would like to think that these are the people that my tales will most concern, but if anyone outside of this particular group comes up, I will be sure to tell you all about them as well. I hope I didn't bore you half to death with my incessant rambling about the people I've come to care most about at this school. Even the thought of leaving for a few days to visit my hometown in a few hours disappoints me slightly because for those days, I won't get to enjoy the presence of any of these fantastic people (besides Christian, but I can see her so much more often)...
Okay, I seriously need to sign off before this post becomes a novel. Until next time!
- Sara
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